The Way Home...

Just a note: I am safely home. This blog was written during my journey, and I will add at least one more blog about my thoughts on being back home again. Thanks for reading...

As I write, I am sitting in O.R. Tambo International Airport, in Johannesburg. I miss Malawi. I am sitting here freezing in this air-conditioned environment… I haven’t felt air conditioning for months. I am surrounded by white people, too many white people. I just bought a ham and cheese sandwich… when was the last time I ate a ham and cheese sandwich? Certainly not while in Malawi. English music is playing over the speakers of the restaurant, Lacoste and Nike shops divide the airport waiting areas. There are too many white people browsing their over-priced goods.

The last couple weeks in Malawi were an amazing blur. Many fun nights out for dinner and running errands with my family, as well as many fun nights in, just hanging out and watching the kids play. I finished up my work with YOUDAO by printing and binding my Violence Against Girls in Education material, and providing the organization with copies. I feel content about the work I was able to get done at YOUDAO, despite often frustrating circumstances. I know they will continue to use my material to start the program at new schools, and that makes me really happy. Also, much to the envy of my boyfriend, I was able to attend the 2010 World Cup celebrations as they passed through Malawi (the trophy is going on a tour of every African country before the event next year). For FREE, my friends and I somehow managed to snag passes to get a picture taken with the trophy, grab lots of free swag, and see K’naan perform. And being the overly-friendly Canadian girls that we are, we also tracked K’naan down before the show and chatted with him for a little while… something that would never happen at home! Margaret, Jamie and I also had a couple great dinners out, attended a soccer match, went shopping, fought off crazy unwanted Malawian attention, and snuck into a hotel to lay out by the pool. We marveled at the intense heat of the rainy season, and stood in awe of the line ups at gas stations (Malawi has had a diesel and petrol shortage for weeks now). These two have become like sisters to me, and although I know we will definitely see each other “on the other side”, I will always mourn for our carefree Saturdays wandering around Lilongwe. I don’t know what I would have done without them; they were an irreplaceable support system for me while so far away from my own friends, and I hope they would say the same about me. I am so thankful that my experience in Malawi also brought me two amazing new friendships.

I miss my host family already. Saying goodbye to the Gomondas was the hardest thing I had to do during my entire trip. That young family was what truly made my time in Malawi bearable. They showed me what it means to live with heart, and to care for others. They provided an amazing example of what it means to extend kindness to others through offering your time and abilities. They showed me the true way to react to the needs of family members and friends… not out of compulsion or for the improvement of one’s own image, but out of a sincere willingness to extend compassion to people in tough circumstances. They are such generous people, and even today, Nelson took time out of his work day to drive me to the airport and bring along the kids, so that I could have a proper send-off and not just get dropped off by the WUSC driver. I hated saying goodbye to Alice, Nelson, Chisomo, Mphatso and little Peter. They are such a beautiful family, and the thought of not seeing any of them for possibly years to come, makes my heart ache. But we agreed that our goodbye was not so much a “goodbye” as a “so long for now… see you soon”. I have told the Gomondas to save up for a trip to Canada for a few years from now, because there will be an invitation to my wedding with their name on it. And, if my future employment ever brings me to any part of Sub-Saharan Africa, I have promised to visit them, once again.

For the time being, as I still have a 4-hour wait before my flight to Paris starts boarding, I am forced to sit and reflect on the last three months of my life. I can’t say that these past three months have been easy, and I can’t say they have been 100% enjoyable. But I have learned more about the world and about myself, than any textbook or lecture could ever teach. I have felt every emotion possible… happiness, fear, frustration, hopelessness, elation, anger, sympathy, and heart-wrenching, mind-numbing sadness for the sights I have seen, and the souls I have come across. I do not know how or what will I will alter once I’m back home, but as I sit here, I cannot shake the feeling that I have been profoundly changed by my experience in Malawi. I cannot black-out the images that I have seen. I cannot ignore the stories I have heard. I knew that suffering existed in the world, but now I have seen it with my own eyes. I knew that millions lived in poverty but now I have met many in that circumstance, and I have heard their stories of struggles.

My internship confirmed my belief that I need to work for a company or organization or charity or government that is DOING SOMETHING POSITIVE to help those in our world who are in need of love in a practical way. Maybe not in Africa, but maybe back home, in my own city. I am fortunate to know that tomorrow, I will be back home in the ‘developed’ world, in a warm, secure house, surrounded by family and other loved ones, without intense fear of break-in, robbery or persecution, and with assurance that I will have water, gasoline, and electricity when I need it.

Although I know that I cannot change the world alone, I want to be part of something bigger, something that is striving for that goal. In the meantime though, I’m going to finish this ham and cheese sandwich.

Love to all,
Jacqueline