Hello faithful friends and blog-followers. (I know you’re faithful if you’ve come back here to check for my last blog post).
Wow. It’s been a little over 6 weeks since I returned home from Malawi. Between jetlag-recovery, getting used to about a 40-degree temperature drop and non-stop Christmas activities for the first three weeks… it’s been a blur. Not only have I not had the time to finish this blog, I have not had the interest since this final blog represents the end of a chapter of my life that I’m not sure I want to close. My first trip to Africa has officially ended, and I am back in the western hemisphere where I actually have to follow through and attempt to evoke positive change based on the things I saw in Malawi.
Life was so much easier in Malawi. I woke up at 5 every day… I miss waking up early. I know I could wake up early here, but there are so many distractions- television, internet, phone calls- that keep me up late. In Africa I cross-worded, Bible-studied, and read myself to sleep by 10 pm. Life is so much simpler without internet and cable, and I utilize my time much more proactively. This is one thing I have been incredibly conscious of since returning home; I am trying to remain aware of the fact that I am a good time-waster, and trying not to immediately turn to my laptop or my flat screen when I have a spare hour.
Life was quieter in Malawi. My head was quieter. I did not have useless Hollywood gossip, radio commercials, or terrifying news images dancing around my mind all day. I reflected on my life circumstance. I pictured my future. I prayed more. I was more aware of the situations and the people around me. A few days after my return, my dad inquired about the biggest difference I was noticing between life in Malawi and life back at home. I told him, “Here at home, a person could make it through their day blind-folded”. Maybe this is why life in Malawi was also more terrifying. A blindfold would certainly lead to danger in Malawi! Everything was constantly changing… fluid. Unpredictable blackouts, illnesses, gas shortages, and unpredictable people who acted in such a different way from the culture I was used to. I was always hyper-alert to who was next to me, the stares I was getting from this woman or the comments in Chichewa from that man. I constantly felt vulnerable- a feeling I rarely experience here at home. I don’t watch my back walking through Toronto like I did in Malawi. I don’t get stared at; children do not point and laugh. I thought I might miss being recognized and greeted on the street by random strangers, but I am enjoying the anonymity I lacked for 3 long months.
In Malawi I often felt lonely, and isolated from a cultural barrier I could not fully penetrate. Back home I find myself wandering the mall for no reason, or exercising, simply to find some alone time… to experience peace and quiet in my own head. I don’t like this.
As an aside: the earthquake in Haiti hit close to home for me. I thought about how lucky I was to spend 90 days in a foreign country and to arrive home safely, while a Canadian nurse I read about had been killed after only 90 minutes in Haiti. There was an earthquake in Malawi about 2 weeks after I left. Although it was far from Lilongwe, in the northern region, about 9000 people were displaced and 9 lives were taken. The Haitian earthquake reminded me that natural disasters and incidents of any kind can happen anywhere and at any time. God really blessed my time in Malawi and I am thankful to Him for bringing me home safely.
We are blessed here in Canada. We are most definitely blessed. We argue about government and the yawn-inducing Canadian political debates that exist, but at least we can rest assured that Stephen Harper is not committing fraud and encouraging corruption. We all remember the tragic e-coli outbreak in Walkerton, Ontario of several years ago that killed 7 people, but it is certain that a greater number die daily in Malawi from water-borne diseases. I survived Malaria and was well enough to blog about my experience a week later. Many people cannot afford to be treated, and do not even live to see the next week. Now, I know that many people here in Canada have tough situations; some have family problems, thousands are out of work, and others still have legitimate medical issues to be concerned with. But the majority of us need to stop whining and remember how blessed we are to live in a rich country with the resources and the freedom to do as we please.
I am struggling a lot with guilt. Why did I get to leave Malawi? When millions of Malawians, including one million orphans, cannot even fathom escaping. The daily routine and the frustrations of my job that wore away at my sanity every day still exist, but it is my Malawian co-workers who are dealing with those frustrations now, as I sit at home and add my meager experience to my resume. Alice, Nelson and the kids are likely sitting through a Thursday-night black out as I type this, but tonight I am guaranteed to have power. Even while I was in Malawi, the fact that I would soon be able to leave the often desperate nation was always at the back of my mind. It ate away at me then and it’s eating away at me now.
When asked what I miss the most about Malawi, my answer is always the same: my host family. I am happy to report that the Gomondas are doing well, and Alice and I email back and forth regularly. The older children just started in a new school and are enjoying themselves. I am so thankful that Chisomo and Mphatso have parents like Alice and Nelson who will encourage and bring out the best in these amazing kids. The family showed me so much kindness and compassion that I cannot help but want to show this kindness and compassion to others.
If I could sum up what living in one of the poorest countries in the world for three months taught me, it would be in the form of a question: What is more important than showing love to others around you?
I can’t think of anything.
I learned to want to use my time, my money, my words, and my actions to try to show love to others whenever I can. I was forced to take a serious look inwards, and analyze if any situation is really worth pouring negative energy into, or if there is a way I can handle problems in a more loving way, daily. Life in Malawi opened my eyes to the magnitude of need and unrest existing in our world; I am now considering as often as I can, why I would ever purposefully contribute to the negativity that is already so evident around us?
So as I move forward from this life-changing experience, these are a few of the thoughts I am clinging too, and struggling with. Thank you for your support.
Love to all,
Jacqueline
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