I Know I'm Only 22, But...

…I think I just experienced what Oprah would describe as one of life’s “full circle” moments. I was rummaging through a pile of second-hand clothes in our neighbourhood market with my friend Jamie. It’s often cooler at night with the rains now, and she was looking for some warmer clothes. As we were searching through piles of dirty, XXL shirts, I noticed a polo t-shirt with a familiar red colour, a colour of my past. One feel of the scratchy poly-cotton blend and a glance at the grey collar with the trademark maple leaf below confirmed what in my mind I already knew to be true: a Zellers uniform. I pulled the t-shirt out of the pile yelling, “No way!” After noticing the confused looks on the faces of both Jamie and the vendor lady, I quickly explained that I spent part of my high school life working for the company with the ugly red polos.

I immediately thought of how odd it was that these 2 eras of my life should suddenly come together. “High school career as a cashier at Zellers, meet your future self”… or vice versa. I thought back to what I wanted to be when I grew up, as I spent all those months hawking HBC credit cards in my red polo. Hmm… I was in grade 11, had not yet come to the realization that math and science were not my forté, was still horseback riding competitively, so I was probably still under the impression that one day I would become a horse veterinarian. I probably could not have pointed out Malawi on a map. I definitely did not see myself ever visiting such a country, let alone living and working in one for 3 months. As I remembered how I counted the till every night while my mom waited for me in our minivan outside the store, I tried to remember what kind of classes I took that year. Did my Zellers-employee self ever suspect I’d be here in 6 years? Apparently not, considering I had no interest in taking World Issues, Law, Politics, Nutrition, Anthropology, or any course even vaguely related to overseas work during high school. Next I thought of what would have been important to me back then, as I tidied shelves of shoes and straightened hangers. Well, like any 16-year-old: friends, doing well in school, shopping with money from my Zellers paycheck, friends, whatever boy I currently had a crush on, the 3 m’s: movies, music, and msn, friends and more friends. I was not too interested in travel, volunteering, or helping others.

As Jamie and I laughed at the randomness of the event, I realized how amazing it is that our interests truly do develop over time. Finding that t-shirt made me realize that I’m in Malawi for the right reasons. I’m not here volunteering because it is something that I longed to do while in high school and feel obligated to fulfill for the sake of my girlhood dreams. When I was 16, 17, 18… the thought of doing what I’m doing now would have made me weak in the knees. I’m here because overtime, God has grown a passion and a desire in me to see the world and to help make it better. I’m here because my interests were shaped through my decision to attend McMaster, and to eventually take Political Science and Health Studies courses. My high-school self did not even know what these courses were. But after changing my mind a million times, and being supported and encouraged by my parents and professors, here I am; and while I don’t know what’s next, I couldn’t be happier.

All that from a Zellers t-shirt.